omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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