Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize