So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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