someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
