Christians are straight up FREAKS
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize