people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
