i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
