walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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