you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
