i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
