Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
