so that wasnt chicken after all
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
