is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize