Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
