that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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