we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize