My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
