Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize