I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
