Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
