sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
