I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's shark week go big or go home
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
