Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
