Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
