nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
