dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
