my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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