she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
