You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
