mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
