I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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