You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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