Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
