If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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