can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
