The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
