Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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