Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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