im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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