Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
