Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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