Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
