No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize