Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
