What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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