i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
