hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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