We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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