Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
