You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize