His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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