If i could tip my vagina, i would.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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