He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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