Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
