Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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