The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
